I'm Down with Dorky

Howdy all. I’m back and ready to delight you with more stories of my dorkdome. That’s right. You heard me. I’m a dork and I’m proud of it. I don't run from my inner dork. I embrace it. Hell, sometimes I even bear hug it.

If I had to take a stab in the dark, I would suspect many of you are dorks as well. Probably closet dorks, but dorks none the less. Closet nerds, closet geeks, closet freaks, closet weirdoes. Listen, I’m all about self expression, so you can call yourself whatever you want, but deep down inside your nerdy little heart, you know who you are. You should also know there really is no reason to be ashamed anymore.

Think about it. There are plenty of successful, happy, well-adjusted dorky role models out there. For instance, our President (a.k.a. The-most-powerful-man-in-the-world) is a big dork. Then there’s the founder of Microsoft, Mr. Bill Gates. I don’t know about you, but I’d love to borrow his AmEx for the day. Also, we don’t want to forget about our sister population, so let’s put our hands together in a big round of applause for Natalie Portman. Famous actress, stunningly beautiful, also Harvard educated, I might add. And did I mention that she shot to stardom by playing Queen Amidala in Star Wars? When Hayden Panettiere is not acting, she is frequenting video game launch parties. Not too shabby. Even Colin Greenwood from Radiohead graduated from Cambridge and still lives in Oxford to this day. Don’t leave me high/don’t leave me dry… Sorry, got a little carried away there for a nanosecond.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that dorky is in. Gone are the days of Steve Urkel and Screech. Gone, I tell you, gone. Dork is now spelled H-O-T.

So, unite with me, my nerdy brethren! I call upon you to say it loud and say it proud! We are dorks and we will be counted! We expect the same rights and privileges as everyone else. (This includes a cute date on the weekend.)

Not ready to declare your dorkdome yet? How about this? I’ll go first. Below, I have shared a “Are You a Hero or Are You a Zero?” checklist with ten nerdy actions. If you are culpable of six or more items, it’s likely that your dorky tendencies may actually be a lifestyle. But it is all right. You’re in good company. I’m guilty of every item on this list and I’m still confident enough to look myself in the mirror each day. In fact, I’d say that I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me! So go ahead, print this out and pull out the writing utensil of your choice (chances are you’ve probably already got a few nearby in your pocket protector) and check off the items that resonate with you. Seriously, go ahead and do it. I mean, really, you’re reading my blog right now. What else do you have to do?

Are You a Hero or Are You a Zero?
_____ I have read the entire Harry Potter series. (Add an extra point if you lost sleep or wept when you learned of Dumbledore’s fate.)
_____ When my parents sent me to my room as a child, I secretly didn’t mind because I could read books, play video games, conduct science experiments, and/or finish my homework.
_____ If my house were to catch fire, I would evacuate only after securing the safety of my computer.
_____ I know what E=mc2 means.
_____ I enjoy learning. Maybe that’s an understatement. I love to learn. I dig school, training, museums, documentaries, anything with new information. (You score an extra point if you have letters before or after your name.)
_____ I have seventh grade humor. Not sure on this one? Does the word, “uvula” make you laugh? How about the planet, “Uranus?” If so, put a big dorky check in the box.
_____ I lack game. Athletic game, verbal game, dating game, and the list goes on…
_____ I think there is NOTHING more attractive than watching someone read a newspaper. Brains are uber sexy. Heads are more than hat racks.
_____ I am no slave to fashion. I think the best fashion accessory is a good pair of reading glasses and I have been known to wear black shoes with a brown belt. (Add a bonus point if you’ve had your current hair style longer than your current job.)
_____ When I watch The Big Bang Theory, I identify with Leonard and Sheldon. Not everyone can be a Penny.

It’s time to tally. How did you do?
Six or more? Fan-freaking-tastic! That secures your spot as a winner in my book!
Five or less? I’m sorry to inform you that you are a wiener. A certified wiener. And yes, the word “wiener” does makes me laugh…

Meow, Kat

P.S. The “Are You a Hero or Are You a Zero?” checklist also doubles as reasons #34-43 why I am single.